Living in a Mindless Reproductive Nation

Yep the country is clueless, even my generation, G-X have all caved in, once anarchistic in nature, doubting all the double talk, knowing we were going to eventually either blow our own heads off with the sacred atomic bomb or drive ourselves literally 'to death'.
Now everyone I know has a kid, two , or three.... each one of them taught materialism extreme at an early age... plugged in at age 5 or 6 to some fabulous electro device... mindlessly as if Ipods will cure all ills. Now all toys are Chinese and plastic... at least when I was a kid there was a wooden paddle duck around.
Each mother is a warrior too... driving their monster SUV to protect their 'precious'. And driving FAST! No one has respect anymore for life... they all rush about mindlessly (unless it is one they spawned), no thought of biking, or walking.... or they drive to walk, or bike, or run.... because hell its way to dangerous to go anywhere without the SUV as a roll cage especially the way everyone drives in this day and age.
Worst yet is the fact that if you dont join this club of reproductive consumers.... there is something wrong with you, your treated like a traitor, someone who has cheated the system.... "hey that couple over their is cheating! They dont have kids, (who require mindless numbers of hours and material resources)... hey that couple didnt give up their life.... they arent productive, they dont work all the time, to provide for their own brat, princess! No fair! And look what their driving... oh how dangerous! Like a tin can!
I live in a rather newish town in the Rockies.... its like a rookery.... there are more children here than adults... its 'in'. And each one of them is raised to be the best... smartest, fastest, with all the brand new expensive accessories to get them there. I actually feel sorry for these kids... there lives are going to be even more disappointing .... and I guess overly competetive if they are going to survive with the massive population thats blowing up at this very minute. Oh and how many times I hear a parent tell me that population growth is not a problem in the US.... it is! You dont have to even see the numbers on a population counter to know it. In my brief 43 yrs I have seen the growth.... I can hardly go to a place that has not changed and for the worst... the last 5 decades US citizens have become increasingly needy, with commercialized consumerism running the place. They child of today stands no chance against the materialism shown to them in the most sophisticated ways of TV advertisement.
Dont get me wrong, I am not some child hater. I like children, I have 3 nieces, I enjoy playing with them. Thats the key, I enjoy playing with them..... not just pacifying them with video games, and plastic toys.....I would rather be the non burned out uncle than the overworked, rushing around, dont have time to play with my kids dad. All of my Gen-X friends are seemingly the same.... just struggling to keep up with the Joneses. There is little time in the day to enjoy the simplicities of life.... like the kids you spawned. Having children is a right..... so lets make this a crumby crappy place... and overpopulate.... Yippeee!
Well thats my rant....

United States of Corporations

Why is it that Americans think that our federal government could possibly run a health care system that wasn't as corrupt as every other branch under its control? The bloated federal government, all consuming, owned and paid of by Ford/ GMC, Bank of America/CitiCorp, Philip Morris/Kraft/Nabisco, Locheadmartin / Boeing Co., Black water, UnitedHealth Group/Aetna/Health Net/Merck , Exxon/Conoco/Chevron, Countrywide. The country really should be called the United States of Corporations.

But we like to think that we are a Democracy where all the little people matter.... this is the problem ..we support big brother. And hell we love our corporations, they sell us cheap products that are made of toxic waste, made shoddily by poor people in China outsourcing our labor/technology/and design. We love to support the destruction of our very own towns and cities with huge big boxes that insure the death of what was local viable business. The Laissez-Faire system of capitalistic economy doesn't consider what happens when people turn into consumers who only care about buying the 'cheapest' items (Walmart). Good buy today means death of some local business tomorrow.
But we like it that way in the United States of Corporations.... we like convenience, trustworthiness, and economy so much that have sold our hearts and souls to the devils of corporate America. We even buy their stocks because they are 'reliable' in growth and yields.

"And I think this Citizens United case, which gave the corporations the ability to interfere in elections in a major way, through their money, puts us at risk of openly having a corporate-dominated government. Now it’s kind of a secret, I suppose, in some places. But it’s now—you know, once Citizens United was decided by the Supreme Court in the way it was, now it’s basically open season on anyone who challenges these corporate interests and a free pass for anyone who supports them. A real danger to our democratic tradition calls out for constitutional remedies, and there are many that are now being considered, and I’m certainly working on some."REP. DENNIS KUCINICH see transcript

So here we are with all major decisions based on a bicker fest between the Republican and Democrat politicians. They keep each other at bay, and the only change that occurs is watered down, and not the big changes that need to occur. As the corporations legally hire on more politicians its going to get even worse. So as the clock ticks away toward it seems at this time the destruction of the planet, our environment, our rivers, oceans, and air, we consume, consume consume more crap that some corporation convinced us we need.

They dont call me 'Sunshine' for nothing....

system of ing o of itsAmerica Corporation

The haves and the have nots, our reality

This recession was designed (and it was design by a group of elites...Testy Conflict With Goldman Helped Push A.I.G. to Edge) to make the haves have more and the have nots struggle some more.... Its backwards in a time when we should ALL be reducing material dependence.... It seems to be creating a 'hording' mentality. Those with jobs are locking out those who are unemployed from even having enough work to feed themselves and running as many hours up as they can....its a battle where there doesnt seem to be much compassion or thought of sharing. Its mine and you cant have any of it. No wonder a huge number of families, and folks are running on food stamps.

With a plethora of information .... we sit and 'Hope'

Woke up today without a job again.... kind of getting used to it now. Although all the years of being involved in the construction home build and design 'industry' makes it a bit weird ... I used to be working at this time of the day. Now the housing bubble has burst, and its probably a good thing it did for many reasons, I can now sit and ponder where this world is heading.... really isn't this something we all should do on occasion? Just maybe the unemployed Americans are having a chance at thinking outside of the box for moment or two, or three.

I know for me I have been paying much closer attention to events, politics, statistics, and in general seeing things a bit clearer since my life has been 'simplified' by being jobless. Not that I didn't always wonder about the big picture, I did and have since childhood. I guess being born during the hideous year of '67 with the chaos of that time, the grim Vietnam war, the distorted Nixon years, and onset of advanced mindless materialism I must have been imprinted subliminally.

As a child my questioning nature was a nuisance to my parents, grand parents, and siblings. I asked 'Why' , 'how come', 'do I have to', pretty much all day everyday. I needed reasons, explanations. The old 'because I said so' just got me angry and prone to temper tantrums. I was sent to my bedroom at least once a day. My dad fielded many of these questions, sometimes patiently, some times with a red face with enlarged blood vessels bulging across forehead. My mother wasn't so patient and often threatened me with a hairbrush and would chase me into my room.
Early questions were innocent enough like, "how come I cant come fishing with you?", or why do we have to go church? its boring!". Later the questions became more like 'I wont's'... "I am not going to wear this stupid suit", my dad insisted that my brother and I wear these just awful suits to go to church, they itched, they were scratchy, they fit like a cardboard box, and they were incredibly embarrassingly ugly. I think the design of these suits was a form of torture. Well my dad sometimes would finally get frustrated, hell I can sympathize with him now, I frustrate myself daily.
I remember being a constant nuisance to my CCD instructor, for none of this religion stuff made a bit of sense to me, and still doesn't. The 'parting of the Red Sea' for one seemed to be particularly outrageous idea. In a class of a dozen or so adolescents I am sure order is hard to keep, especially when being questioned as such by me. " So the tide came in?" I asked, ohh no, Moses parted the sea with his hands .... 'Right sure guy' was my attitude. And with that he sent me out of the class to not get the cookie and zyrex drink reward for surviving these ridiculous, preposterous stories. That day my bother and I told Dad that we werent going back to CCD, and we never did.
And what is zyrex anyway? It sounds evil and tastes as it sounds, highly artificial. I remember going to a friends house and he would make what we called 'blood' by mixing zyrex and milk together, it made you want to puke. I notice today there is no zyrex on the store shelves, I guess that either its half life wasn't as long as expected, or they found it caused kidney and renal failure.

In Junior High school there was no ending to my questions, and my frustrations from not receiving them or from being heckled by my class mated caused me to rebel. To rebel I befriended the fattest, smelliest, and least popular class mates. This only caused me more problems, most of these kids were frustrated due to there unfortunate position in our youth cast system. I remember one 6th grade friend, Jimmy Warren, he came from 'the sticks' or Lincolnville center. He had all the qualities of a rebel friend... he was huge like huge 250 lbs, smelled really bad, acne, and actually shot a Buck that year, which was particularly impressive, he even came to school with his Buck knife on him and a bloody hoody after gutting it out , to boot. Well Jimmy and I got into all sorts of trouble, I remember bringing our snow ball fight back into the classroom after recess one snowy day... Mr Andrews the principle dragged me out by the ear to be lectured. Mr Andrews was not one to be reckoned with, he was a Lobster fisherman, when he wasnt principling, huge forearms, and a weather-beatened face. I am sure they hired him just because of his threateningness.
Another time, In World geography, a teacher named Mr Dugay (and how we had fun with his name) caught on to my wise ass ways and gave me the old 'three strikes and your out' question session...."Mr Pelletier.... is Africa a country of a continent?" , I paused a bit too long in answering, "Strike one". "Question #2, Mr Pelletier... Where is Cape horn located?" I was thinking, was it the end of Africa or was it the end of South America... I know they both had Capes jutting out.... " Mr Pelletier Strike #2, last question, Mr Pelletier what is the difference between longitude and latitude?" ... oh god I thought... I never get this one right, even today I wonder why whoever named these things couldnt have had the first letters different, like right vs left, it makes it hard when its like... right vs reft.... "Mr Pelletier...3 Strikes and your out of my classroom!" Mr Dugay boomed, with a following titter from 'fellow' classmates. And he led me out of the classroom and slammed the door in my face, off to see Mr Andrews again. I never really knew what Mr Dugay 'had out of me', might have been he had big ears too.
The playground was always a mess of intimidation, coercion, and evil class hierarchy. The girls were cruel and embarrassing, the guys were all over the place either like huge or tiny in size... I remember Edwin Witham's tactic in order to avoid being beat up, he was a very intelligent 'shrimp' ... he had his Dad 'the town dentist' buy him a pair of Limber boots... these are these huge very rigid hiking boots with a heavy steel toe.... these were Ed's tool of defense, I mean get him mad and he would kick his way out of any circle of large boys, and there were plenty of bruised shins on that playground.

I had a problem a lot on the playground, I would us alienation as a tactic against my fellow class mates. Like I said I made friends with the unsavory, one example was making friends with fellow aliens. With a few of these oddball sorts we would play games that would be threatening to our classmates who were learning to be 'cool'. Like in the 6th/7th grade my 'friends' and I played "sesame street" I was Ernie, and John White was Bert, and so on.... now this really aggravated our classmates. Sesame Street is so passe' in Junior High... only freaks would play this.... well it worked, it caused me to be threatened everyday. The threats started in the cafeteria right before recess, and then out onto the black top for playground the threats would bloom into full on war... The Sesame street freaks against everyone else. I remember two times being so glad Jimmy Warren was my 'friend' he could bear hug someone with their head in his stinky armpit until they wilted. But on several occasions he was missing or suspended so I would have to fend for myself. Mike Gilbey a fat kid who I always ended up having problems with ... he somehow could play ball sports better than me and it was always him over me as to who was not 'on the bench' ... Well 'Gilbey' took a liking to pushing me down on the snow and ice one day on the recess blacktop, and calling me 'Pellequeer', which would get my ears red. I warned him using the Dugay, three strikes your out ... "dont knock me down Gilbey", so he trips me again... "don't trip me down Gilbey" so he trips me again... I got up and when he went to trip me again .... Pow ! I punched in the nose and blood splattered all over the ice... he went running to the Playground supervisor who ended up being Mr Dugay, and off the the Mr Andrews I went. Actually Mr Andrews was sympathetic and said that Mr Gilbey had it coming to him.
Well I will spare you the details of the day Sesame street and characters Ed Witham, Gilbey, Jimmy Warren all went to war... It was grim and bloody.
Thinking about team sports, how I never fit into that stuff. I guess it might have been that we moved a bunch when I was a kid and my talents were never recognized through the obscurity of not being recognized. Or maybe it was because the coaches kids always get to play and like in Little league baseball there are only 9 players and when the coach has four kids... well that means only 5 spots. I know that it was unfair though, when I moved to Camden for 5th grade I was the #1 pick on the little league team 'Rotary', but again the coach had a bunch of kids and they had friends so I sat on the bench. On day I got my big chance and got to pitch. Well with all 'last minute notice' ' on the spot' things I totally choked, walked like an endless inning of players. Back to the bench, and then if lucky to play 'out in right field' , I got to know the expression 'out in right field' pretty early on in my team sport career.

Well then there was soccer which I didn't start until I was in 8th grade... I think that's like 5 grades or so too late, and basket ball too. Unlike most kids whose parents make sure their son or daughter are prodigy ball players my parents really could care less. My Dad never was much of a team sport guy. His early years as an only child whose parents were french Canadians, father a shoe mill security guy, and a stay at home mom that didn't drive insured a sort of non team player start out. He did play tennis and ski jumped in a catholic high school appropriately named Saint Dominic. My mom.... she was definitely not a sport person choosing music, piano, singing.I guess I really took on after my dad, I liked to fish, hunt, ski, and do adventure things like snorkel down deep into the ocean, try to follow my dad in his dive equipment as far down as I could hold my breath, see the weird bottom covered with huge kelp, and get freaked out, swimming to the surface. I used to want to go fishing in the early spring, before the snow had melted. Or I would put my ski suit on and pretend to ski in the back yard... I think this is what we all call 'passion for something'.
We used to get really excited when our cousins Chrissie and David came over, and to this day I can only think it was because the unexpected always happened. For example, when Phil and I were like 1st and 2nd grade, maybe younger, the cousins came to visit us when we lived in Pownel Maine, my dad worked at the 'tard' center Pineland there.... yes I know this is not nice, but its what we called it then, staying truthful to history. David thought it would be a riot to put me in a baby carriage and send me down the hill. I was game , so I loaded in and with a mighty shove, and he was 8 yrs older so it was a pretty good wind up... down I went, which was good until I hit the culvert at the bottom, and the carriage came to a complete stop, with me spilling out, on my face.... imagine a scene from 'Jackass' where they do this stuff with the red wagon.... except put a 7 yr old in the cart.... well I know I cried bloody murder, and Aunt Barbara got very angry with David.
The 'tard' center was always a recreational zone for Phil and I , it was boring in Pineland, except for a few exceptions.... we would ride our bikes down the hill to the place and ride around and see if we could get a reaction from the patients, which usually happened quickly... we would maybe get chased by a few, which was fun, we could always get away on our one speed bikes, but we looked at it as adventure, I thing frighteningly looking at these unfortunate patients as if they were zombies, which some of them kind of acted like with moaning, and strange walking patterns.
If we couldn't scare up a few patients then we would go to the cafeteria and see if there was any money in the candy machines, or if the guy that ate the cigarette butts out of the ashtray was at work. One time we found a complete set of clothes in front of my fathers office, underwear and all. We wondered where this naked zombie was, with a shiver. And if this all was not happening we would maybe do some fishing in the pond there, and catch stocked trout, or go home and wander around the many old farm building, maybe find some old windows to smash out... how we could get in trouble.In later years I found tormenting, teasing, and torturing my sister to be pretty much a good time. One day ,when we lived in Portland, Maine, my brother and I had a sled run going in the woods, a luge of deathly possibilities.... we had the start off of the 'head wall', we didn't know if it was possible to make the first bank without going out of the track... so we found Danielle, who was a likely test pilot, she was oh 5 yrs old , and we knew lighter, and unskilled, so if she didn't blow the bank.... it was safe . I think my bro and I knew this was maybe not such a great idea when we launched her with a shove, she accelerated down the head wall, and as we held our breath in a horrible expectation, she flew into the first banked turn... and up the bank and over it right into a huge very solid oak tree, and there was a sickening snapping sound. Now we got to play ambulance, my sister cried and screamed in pain as we ran down the hill with her on the sled bouncing around. Finally a big friend of ours carried her the rest of the way to the house. My mother hearing the screaming knew that we had hurt our dear sister; broken femur.
My sister was fun to torment, because she would act like a caged ferret, she would hiss, scream, bite, throw things, threaten to kill with knives. At a very early age she learned the craft of impalement. I teased her having her chase me around the table, until she picked up my mothers very sharp and pointy sewing scissors and threw them, with a very and solid throw .... one tine in my forehead, one in my cheek... she missed my eyeball... I was the one screaming now; she was two years old.
This sort of torment and associated hatred went on for years, right up to high school. My sister got better with knives and I remember once teasing her until she had me backed up against the family stereo record player as it blaster some Black sabbath tune.... and she had a huge steak knife and I seriously though I was going to get gored. Somehow I escaped... but Danielle learned that there were other ways than violence.... she could spy on me, find out when I was doing something 'illegal' and then tell on me to Mom. This was very effective, no longer could I trust her, she was dangerous, and would find ways to get me in trouble, or embarrass me. One time she spied on me and a friend John. We had made a tree house where we would hide our stash of cigarettes and beer. Danielle snuck up the ladder one day and found out what we had hid... and told the parents....She was no longer to be trusted, and not worth the risk to tease any longer, so I guess from this point on I saw teasing her as pointless and counter to my own existence... from then on we have gotten along.
The moments I remember on the 8th grade teams were, always getting a chance to play either when our team was really winning or really losing. One time playing a soccer match 'at home' I got thrown in off the bench... we were losing really badly, it was muddy, I had no cleats.... I think as I remember my dad gave me a choice that year of a pair of 2nd hand skis or a pair of cleats... I took the skis. Well of course I fell down and couldn't get a foot on the ball... got really mad and at the end of the game gave 'their team' the finger as they left in the bus. My mom saw this and got really mad, and said I was grounded.... oh how I got grounded...
So off to my bedroom when we got home. I thought to myself, this sucks, I am bored and hell with it I am running away. So I got a back pack with some items, and threw it out the window.... lowered myself out and headed off into the wood. I think it started raining like immediately and within a mile I was soaked. I made it like 2 miles on foot in the graying evening rainy darkness to a field that I used to go hunt grouse with my father in and sat down in the soaking rain.....This sucks, I'm hungry, and I'm going home, to hell with running away.
I guess this started the running away phase of my life. In Junior High I made friends with this guy Aaron Henderson. We had things in common like hunting, fishing, skiing, and running away. Aaron had a step-father ,Lenny, a really short swede, who was maybe the reason he ran away too. I remember Aaron always had the endless list of chores to do after school which was a real disruption from doing the things that we wanted to do after school, like go fly fishing, steal tobacco from the drug store, make bombs, steal liquor out of our parents liquor cabinets... which usually was god awful. Like in my house, apricot brandy, and at his house triple sec, or port wine, or some mixer alcohol.... drink this stuff with a huge 'joint' of rolled whiskey tobacco and see how long you can stand or ride your bike. Oh yeah one especially grand day after Aaron stacked the endless cord of wood for Lenny we escaped ... after grabbing a old dusty bottle of wine off a shelf in the basement near the wood pile at his home. Our plan was to drink this at a river where we knew of some big 'sucker fish' that we could blow up with some homemade bombs. Well this was all fine until I had to go home drunk.... riding my bike home with this evil tasting wine sloshing around in my belly got me some sick. I got home to find out that I was grounded again for being late.

Well Aaron suffered a similar fate , on returning home Lenny was there to meet him, he was injured, and angry, plus he smelled the stink of the wine on Aarons breath. Evidently Lenny was injured by the hastily stacked wood pile which collapsed on him. Aaron was in big trouble.... and his punishment was a weekend of indenturement to Lenny which meant no fishing this weekend.

more on this story later....

Wake up America..... Hope is not working

Obama's first state of the Union address was more of the same Posturing that we have come to expect from our Government. As Noam Chomsky aptly put it "Well, one doesn’t expect to get much content from a State of the Union address, and there wasn’t very much. But that’s normal."

Perhaps most revealing is the Double speak about freezing government spending, revealing the true goals of this administrations works. Again Noam Chomsky discusses the freeze and how it reveals the USA real addenda.... More money to be spent not on at home problems but weaponry and more war implementation....
"On freezing government spending, it’s not—it’s certainly not—it’s partially, but not totally, in accord with the public will. So, in fact, the recent, most recent poll I’ve seen by Pew on people’s priorities, the highest for increase in spending, by far the highest, over two-thirds was for education. Well, that’s being frozen. The next was veterans’ benefits; that’s frozen. Next is healthcare, which is partially frozen. Environmental protection, not there. Energy, not there. When you get down to about, I think it’s eleventh or so, you get the military defense, which is increasing—call it “defense.” Anti terrorism defense is thirteenth; that’s increasing. So, by and large, the priorities are, I wouldn’t say the opposite of, but not consistent with the spending block."
See more on the Obama's first Address at Democracy Now
Noam Chomsky and Naomi Klein Respond to Obama’s First State of the Union


Several days after the Presidents address of the Nation the following an excerpt from Democracy Now shows the double speak clearly....
"As part a record $3.8 trillion budget proposal, the Obama administration is asking Congress to increase spending on the US nuclear arsenal by more than $7 billion dollars over the next five years. Obama is seeking the extra money despite a pledge to cut the US arsenal and seek a nuclear weapons-free world. The proposal includes large funding increases for a new plutonium production facility in Los Alamos, New Mexico."

More here at Democracy Now
Despite Non-Proliferation Pledge, Obama Budget Request Seeks Additional $7B for Nuclear Arsenal

Follow this account by

Jay Coghlan, Executive Director of Nuclear Watch of New Mexico.

More of the same Double talk .... Democracy Now reported on the Obama's Posturing to even the UN.....
"The UN Security Council has unanimously passed a US-drafted resolution aimed at shoring up the international commitment to limiting the spread of nuclear weapons. But critics say it failed to include mandatory provisions that would have required nuclear states to take concrete disarmament steps."
How this Obama and administration can talk crap..... Nobel Peace Prize my ASS!

And while we are on it how is Obama's war doing? Well more of the same torture camps... drone bombings of civilians, and in general more spending on military scare tactics on innocent populations....few Americans seem to care though, just as with Iraq its kept from the public, and hell we have to worry about our jobs here....

Visit Democracy Now for its piece on torture in Afghanistan
“America’s Secret Afghan Prisons”: Investigation Unearths New U.S. Torture Site, Abuse Allegations in Afghanistan

And another link to Democracy Now piece on Blackwater.... I thought we got rid of these guys?
“Blackwatergate”–Private Military Firm in Firestorm of Controversy over Involvements in Iraq, Afghanistan and Germany

And another Democracy Now piece on Obamas 'Peaceful ways'
“Obama Has Kept the Machine Set on Kill”–Journalist and Activist Allan Nairn Reviews Obama’s First Year in Office

Wake up America! The Obama guy is an imposter .....

Jobs of America 2010

Well as many of us lose our jobs and start to wonder where this is all heading I have come up with a short list of the jobs that are not going away anytime too soon.

Staff at unemployment offices
Banking Legal staff
Police force and theft detectives
Walmart grocery departments/corporate foods...'cheap' not necessarily healthy
Health care services, psychological therapy, Diabetes clinics
Staff at homeless/food shelters
Online pornography ... unemployed sitting around with nothing else to do but browse T & A
Military missile companies / strategic defense installation corps
Handgun and Ammo companies/ distributors
Repossession agencies
Sign companies that produce...."Home for Sale by Owner"
U-haul and Budget truck rentals..... when you have to move out because the bank says so
Tent and camping supply sales.... most likely big box/corporate like REI, of Cabellas.... they're 'cheapest' even though they reduce local sporting goods employee hirings
Electronic surveillance camera companies
Electronic gate installation companies
IRS collection agencies
Large Pick-up truck SUV sales like ford, and Dodge etc.... every man and woman still need a big truck/SUV even if unemployed...worse on gas, if that makes sense
Huge flat screen TVs....like porn nobody has anything to do but watch Seinfeld reruns, Cage Fighting, or other shows that simulate life that you aren't living from your couch. 'Lives of the rich and famous'?
Credit card collection agencies
Ramen noodle factories and distribution
Dominoes and MacDonald corporations
Off shore drilling platform construction
Island gated community design and development corporations
Private security corporations /companies
I-Pod retail sales ....even if your broke you need your own I-pod....get with the times bro
Home brewing and Alcohol stills
Cheap wine/beer/liquor sales, distribution, advertising
Cheap anti-depressant knock-off companies
Windmill construction/repair
Natural health production/sales/distribution...you just cant afford to go to the hospital or doctor.
Landfill and waste removal....always a need for more of these employees in our society
In your own Home Tattoo equipment
Do your own boob job equipment
Netflix staff and distribution
Sno tm in a Can....when global warming is fully realized
PicScout staff, copyright legal services, ImageStock/Getty image corporations
Computer gaming production/sales
Marriage counselors, always will need these folks
Divorce Lawyers....always will need these
More Lawyers in general...never can have enough
Bologna production, distribution
Inexpensive elderly care services ....for the aging baby boomers
Butt wipers, bedpan emptiers, cleaning staff
Inexpensive morticians / caskets / crematorium services
Do-it your-self dental production/design/ advertising/production/ distribution
"How to get Rich" DVD series editors/producers/filming staff
Battery recycling center/staff
Toxic water filtering and reuse
Recyclable diaper design/manufacturing/sales
Alternative to Toilet Paper design/marketing
College education Loan councilors
School loan creditor agency and staff
Make your own 'green' non toxic dildo at home
Writers and editors and publishers for books on 'how to live a simple life without debt'
School bus repair/maintenance for all the future ailing buses of the 'regional schools systems of America'
Wii sex video game design/production/distribution for ailing sexual relationships
Aqua culture tuna farming
Natural disaster clean-up and rebuild companies and personnel
More and more Building Code writers and building enforcement personnel
Federal government agency personnel, enforcement
Nuke facilities, be like Homer Simpson.... Obama wants more

Howard Zinn died today

Yesterday was a very trying day for me. I didn't sleep really well the night before... I have been reading Howard Zinn's "The peoples history of America" to put myself back to sleep. I finally slept after reading his section about the '70's and anti war specifics. I was horrified to read about Jimmy Carter, I had always though that guy was decent, Zinn's take on him was a bit unsettling, Starting with Carter the farmer... sounds innocent enough, the guy was a Millionaire farmer, most likely sold those peanuts to Skippy. Then on to the realities of presidential posturing ... Carter came in after a just awful period of Federal government horrors, Vietnam, Cambodia and the covert Ma Lia massacre,LBJ, Nixon, Ford, Kissinger and every despicable distorted lie known to man. Carter sure looked good to the Humanist of the time after that awful line-up. As Zinn put it " Carter's job as president, from a point of view of the Establishment , was to halt the rushing disappointment of the American people with the government, with the economic system, and disastrous military adventures abroad." But he really didn't get that much done, he came across as a humanist in other countries ... but again to quote Zinn "Carter was continuing the old hypocrisy. The U.S. was supporting, all over the world, regimes that engaged in imprisonment of deserters, torture, and mass murder: Chile, in Iran, in Nicaragua, and in Indonesia, where the inhabitants of Timur were being annihilated in a campaign bordering on Genocide.


I woke up with a grey sky and rolled over, I didnt want to get up. Its been hard to get up lately. The state of my unemployedness coupled with the state of the Union, has made me depressed. The latest in corporate sponsored control of the government ruled again as legal by the Supreme court coupled with my increased awareness brought on by Zinn's book has made me stressed and worried. I had several cups of coffee,sometimes this wakes me and my mood becomes more moderate.... it didn't this day. I have such a feeling of dispare lately, part of it because of not having the ability to help others in my profession. Why? I moved again, I couldn't live in Maine it just wasn't working.

When you move you uproot yourself, those roots in community, friends, family, work, and habits. When you move the transplant is hit or miss, your pot containing soil, roots, and all have to sustain you until new roots can be grown into where ever you move. Some of the success in a transplant is timing, what season the move is made. The start of winter is a hard time to make a move. Its a hard time to meet people, everyone is holed up. Especially pre holiday season, not a time to let newcomers into the household. Some of the transplant has to do with the amount of soil in the pot sustaining life until planted into the new country soil. This is an simile of the cash in hand making it until you get a job. With the economy at a standstill, I can assure you you better have a big pot with lots of soil in it.

Depression is a cycle, often a downward one. Often it could be turned around with some luck, something reaffirming happening like meeting people that have similarities to you, finding a job that you like, or having simple pay back of your hard work to occur without having to track those who owe you down. Sometimes having others that you know just giving you a simple call to see how you are doing in your move is reassuring and eases stress. Any one of these occurrences can change what could be a downward spiral into the dark abyss back to the light of the upper sea. What happens when nothing reaffirming happens, and everyday you wake to live off the pot of soil with no new nourishment? You suffer, you start to doubt your rooting capability, and the more doubt you have the more others are likely to avoid you... who wants to hang out with a depressive?

Yesterday I though some horrible thoughts early in the day, like how I would have loved to have caught the evil scumbag that stole all of my tools. To elaborate , just before my move all of my tools, all hard 25 years worth were stolen from my folks camp. I try to forget it but sometimes find myself daydreaming about catching that guy/s and shooting them with a 12 gauge shotgun in the back of the legs.... not to kill, but to wound, to make them hurt and to suffer like I have because of my lose of my livelihood making possibilities. I know this is sick, but it's what happens to a man when he is kick in the nuts, he hurts bent over for awhile, then he wants to get even.

The day the stuff was stolen was a crappy day too, I was sick with a shitty cold. I was trying to help my dad finish a desk for his home. This was to help him for him helping me by giving me a place to stay for the month before 'we' moved. My dad calls me, sets me down and tells me, "your tools were stolen from the camp" he waits, " did my flyrods get taken too?' I ask... He is not sure, but he thinks so... I had four flyrods next to my tools, sounds kind of mundane to the average person.... unless they are a flyfisherman... Those rods had a lot of memories, the places, the people I fished with, the year, the stream, the river, the dog that was with me, the dog that broke the tip of one of the rods while chasing the fish I had on, that faithful yet dumb ass dog is tied to the memory of the rod.... all these connections to a material object... sounds materialistic right? Its more than that, when all of these thoughts flash in your mind, and then the mundane, all the hours you worked to pay for that god damned air compressor, nail guns. Of that welder I couldn't afford that I put on a credit card and didn't even know how to work it yet... knowing that someday I would then it would pay for itself... all of these thoughts came in about 10 minutes... and then I started sobbing, my dad pats me on the back, there is nothing he can do but sympathise.

My Dad wanted to help me to recover from this all, and after hell he had done me/us a favor after giving me/us a place to stay at the camp. He says to me, "the insurance will pay for the theft" and I instantly think "I'll believe that when I see it". I just have never had any luck with that sort of thing... last time I had some insurance settlement for a car that slammed into me after they ran a red light, I didn't get one red cent. I said to myself..."don't get your hopes up, Greeno, the rods, the tools are gone... and there is not insurance company that's going to undo it"... I just didn't want to get my hopes up, I wanted the whole disappointment and unsavory feelings gone.

Well after all this my dad meets with the sheriff, fills out forms about the theft, has me fill out and print out summaries of the stuff stolen which made me relive the items individually all over again. And I kept saying "Greeno don't get your hopes up!" To make a long story shorter, I did get myself hoping that I would get something back... I found myself after a month actually believing that some money was coming which would be a good thing, I have no work. Two months pass, I call my Dad , he says that the insurance company is saying that they are not obligated to pay the $2600, I think wow, six grand of tools, and rods boiled down to $2600 man that's depreciation for you... but "hold on" my dad says our neighbor can attest to the fact you were living there. We I find myself hoping again, the four letter word, how Obama wielded that word..."hope" and how that's all its been. So a month later, I am still a hoping.... so I call Dad... and he breaks the news...."they say that you are not a family member" so they don't have to pay. I guess in the insurance contract, on page 239 there it is, insurance only covers family members defined by one whole lives full time in the household.... has nothing to do with blood relationship or anything that a family actually considers to be "family".

Well I lived the theft again, now through the insurance company's devilry.... Arrrghh! And I find myself, mad, frustrated, angry, and thinking once again how I wish I could have shot those bastard in the legs.... all over again.

This is why depression spirals down, and down, getting kicked in the nuts again and again, and after a while you cant stand. You keep looking up 'hoping' you keep getting kicked... then you find yourself not wanting to get up, you pull the covers over your head.

Back to yesterday, I finally had the coffee and went to doing what an unemployed man who is down does, picked up my book to finish it, last chapter... I couldn't get through it .... I started to sob. Later in the day I find out Howard Zinn died today.... January 27, 2010.